Lately, I’ve been coming across different messages on Instagram and in perfect timing. Here are just two that really spoke to me:
“We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated with purpose”
“I am imperfect, and that is my power.”
This week was hard. I struggled with work-life balance, I took my anger out on my husband, I was stressed out and frustrated most of my days. I worked long hours but had a hard time waking up every morning. Wednesday was the worst. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was moving slow, I was tired and exhausted, I was sad and not even sure why… I just cried.
Sometimes I feel like I work extra hard and get nowhere. Some days are full of sunshine and glitter. Other days are full of tears and naps. Some days I see something on social media that will set off my emotions and I start comparing and wondering why I’m not succeeding as fast as that person. I’ve never been competitive. I’ve always been the one to step back and let others know I am on their side. So when I compare myself to other photographers, I get upset and all worked up, feeling like I’m just not good enough.
I also have those days where I feel strong and inspired and I know exactly what I want, so I chase after it. I have insecurities, doubts, and a lot of imperfections. But my heart is full when I do what I love and create something I’m proud of. I know I’m not the only one who feels these things, and I have so many people to cheer me on and give me the strength to keep pushing forward. I just have to accept that I’m going to have good days and bad days being my own boss, and being an imperfect boss.
My flaws, imperfections, and struggles are what makes me the business owner I want to ultimately be. I don’t want or need to be perfect in any way. I don’t need to share that I am celebrating and throwing confetti every day because I don’t. I want to share that I have bad days that make every good day so worth it. My good days are incredible- I feel on top of the world. My bad days get pretty low- but I won’t let that defeat me. I’m not giving up now, not ever.
I thought about something on Wednesday (the bad day)… I was getting upset because I wasn’t booking wedding as quickly as I expected. Then I was thinking, maybe that’s just not the area of concentration that my business is supposed to be taking on. Maybe there is something else in store for me and my photography business, something I wasn’t expecting. I need to start thinking differently. When I try something new and it doesn’t work out, who cares? It’s okay! That doesn’t mean I am failing in any way. It means that wasn’t meant to happen. Or maybe it’s just not the right time in my life. Just because I tried and it didn’t take off, doesn’t mean I’m not succeeding. My business is taking off now more than ever before! I should be celebrating the things I am succeeding at now, rather than dwelling on the things that are not happening yet. I found that mentoring took off faster than weddings and that is amazing- it was so unexpected. Sometimes I think, maybe my calling is being directed somewhere else. I just can’t jump ahead of myself, I have to keep going day by day and keep doing what I love!
Today I am sharing some of my imperfections with you because it’s good to remember that being a business owner can look glamorous, but it can feel lonely. You are not alone. I struggle with comparing, but I strive when I’m helping others. I struggle with patience, but I accept the path that is right in front of me. I struggle with snapping out of my funk, but I have family and friends that support me and kick me in the butt when I need it. I struggle with confidence in my work and in my business, but I know others value and appreciate me. I struggle with finishing house chores because I have to write that last minute blog for the next morning. I struggle with my daily and weekly schedule no matter how hard I try to keep organized. I struggle knowing that my husband cooks better than I do (or is that a blessing?).
Do you know how to embrace your imperfections? Use them as your power. Be captivated by your purpose. Find your inspiration and get back on your feet when you’re knocked down. Exhaustion means you’ve been working hard, but you might need a break. Try putting yourself and your health first, because YOU are the most important part of your business. YOU can be the light you’ve been searching for.