Most people don’t talk about depression, anxiety, broken hearts, or anger all that often on social media. I know I don’t because it’s not something I want to share through my business brand. My brand is happy, cheerful, colorful, bright, and exciting! I want people to see my brand, my website, and my social media and feel joy. That’s why I don’t normally bring up the other feelings when I’m actually feeling them. On a bad day, I usually don’t post on social media at all! I’m a real human though, I’m not a brand… I just built this brand for my business. I have ALL the feels ALL the time. I’m actually an extra emotional human. I take everything to heart, I take everything personally even when it might have nothing to do with me. I feel sadness, I get mad, I get anxiety, I cry, and I feel every emotion just like you. Just because I’m not sharing these thoughts and feelings with social media, doesn’t mean those feelings aren’t there. That’s important for you to know.
I’ll be honest, I’m not always happy and I’m not always doing what I love. I have to do whatever I need to do to survive and build this business. I’m hustling every day and I love what I do, but it’s not always easy. I’ve been given situations time and time again that challenge me in ways that push me to try harder and to be a better person. I learn something new through every emotion and every obstacle. I have nights where I can’t sleep because of the anxiety. I have days where I want to delete my social media. I have things happen in my life that you might never hear about because I choose to keep that private. I don’t think all my specific problems in life should be announced for the world to see, but I do think it’s okay to let you know I feel all the same things as you. I’ve been hurt, taken advantage of, put down, stressed, annoyed, confused, mad, sad, all of it.
I want you to know that I’m not always a confetti throwing lunatic and I have way more going on in my life than what meets the eye. I do however try to turn all my negative feelings into a positive outlook and that’s what I want to share with my followers. I want to spread joy and light to the world. I choose to share happy thoughts, encouraging words, and a colorful life because maybe that’s what someone else needs at the time.
Just know that you are not alone. Next time you see me holding a glass of champagne toasting to a big announcement and you’re over there crying because life is weird when you’re in your 20’s- just remember that’s not real life and I feel it too. Here’s to living a purposeful life day by day. Here’s to discovering our true selves with an open mind and heart, to the imperfections, adversities, and emotions that shape us. To those suffering in silence. Here’s to the people who don’t show it or share it but feel it and live it every day.
I read a blog post the other day and it got my thinking. Let’s stop thinking small, and start thinking big. Think outside of your Instagram, outside of your phone, outside of your house, outside of your city, and into the bigger picture. I’m a firm believer in serving others, sacrificing for others and putting your loved ones first. I think that’s an everyday motto, and it’s so important to remember. I also believe that in order to be selfless and giving, you should find your own happiness first. If doing good for others makes you feel unhappy and unappreciated, re-think the situation and think about the bigger picture. Are you unhappy with your lifestyle? Stop thinking you are chained down to your job, your location, your friendships or your relationship. MAKE A CHANGE… like now.
My mom always said, “the only person who can make yourself happy is YOU.” You have to be the one to make the change. Your friends aren’t going to change, your job isn’t going to change, and your life isn’t going to change unless you make it happen. Life is so much more than the tiny space your head lives in, and I too must remind myself of that.
This is what I read in the other blog, and I thought it was beautifully written.
“Leaving opens a new door for change, growth, opportunities and redemption. You always have the choice to leave until you find where you belong and what makes you happy. You’re even allowed to leave the old you behind and reinvent yourself.” -Rania Naim
You are ALLOWED to make a change for yourself, you are allowed to leave where you live or the job you’re in, and you are allowed to REINVENT YOURSELF. I love that. I can relate to all of that. You have every right to make the changes in your lifestyle to be happy, healthy, and feel refreshed. Nobody is holding you back, even if that’s what you’re thinking.
There are a lot of things you don’t know about me… and I think my juicy stories are meant for another day, so let’s talk about something that hugely relates to these issues– FEAR. What are you afraid of? Why aren’t you making the changes you need to make? Like I said before, think of the bigger picture. Get to the root of your fears. Think long and hard about what keeps you from making changes and how you can overcome those fears.
Looking at the smaller picture:
Being trapped in the shower with a mosquito. (that happened yesterday. I worked hard to kill it and it just never happened. I came out alive.)
Sea creatures. Seriously, I am deathly afraid of anything that swims beneath me. That goes for tiny little fish too. I can’t do it.
Public speaking. Oh my gosh, you guys. I pray that my little sister doesn’t have a big wedding so that I don’t have to make a speech in front of all those people (so selfish, I know). College presentations were NOT easy for me.
Now, let’s look at my bigger picture fears:
Failure. I’ve been hard on myself since elementary school memorizing the 50 states and getting tested on it. (I passed, thanks to a song my mom came up with.) Now, it’s bigger than that: I think about failing as a business owner. I think about failing as a mother one day. I could fail at a lot of things in life, and that freaks me out, because it can affect the people around me.
Disappointment. I don’t like the feeling of disappointing others or myself. Even the smallest of disappointments give me the worst feeling deep down. That includes anything from making a less-than-savory dinner for my husband to letting a family member down, to making a friend upset, and so on. I also carry a weird amount of anger/frustration inside me when I am personally disappointed (like when I order food that I am super excited for, but it comes out totally wrong or burnt, hehe).
Embarrassment. Literally, I get so embarrassed about the smallest things. That goes for misspelling words in my social media posts, to tripping in a parking lot, to talking about something personal that might seem dumb.
WHY!? Ask yourself, why? Why am I so afraid of failure, disappointment, and embarrassment? I’d like to think it all goes along with my background, and my story. I learned to overcome a lot of these fears, just by going for it. I might still be afraid of these things, but I have pushed myself to get past it by making bold moves. By leaving, choosing happiness, choosing change, and re-inventing myself. I’ve made a lot of decisions in my life that put my happiness in front of my fears. I made the decision to grow and leave the rest behind. Do you know how hard that can be? Because I totally do!!!
If you’re going through this right now, and actively choosing your happiness before your fears, you should be SO proud of yourself!! If you want to make a change, but don’t know how, that’s okay too!! I have a little advice. Learn to just BE. Be alone with yourself, be alone with God if that’s your thing, be open, be accepting, meditate or pray on it, let go and be. If you fight against your ability to overcome your fears, then you aren’t making room for change. I have always lived by the mantra “whatever happens, is meant to happen… just go with flow.” When you find yourself at peace about an idea and feel that it’s exactly what is meant to happen, then let it happen!
I have always been queen of planning my own path. I’m a planner, I like to think ahead and plan for the future. God seems to disagree with me on that, though. He tends to guide me in the exact opposite direction of my plans most of the time. When I have a plan set in my mind, it seems to fall apart when the time comes, and that’s when disappointment sets in. After a few frustrating disappointments, I learned quickly that whatever God has planned for me is what is best for me and it’s all happening for a real reason. That can be scary, right? That’s when my fear of failure sets in. Because, basically, all I think is, “what am I doing, this wasn’t my plan!” Then I realize, this is God’s plan for me, so how could I be set up for failure? So I learn to roll with it, go for it, and put my all into it! That’s when embarrassment creeps its way in. I feel embarrassed when I’m confused or when others are confused about my decisions. That’s when I think, “why do I care so much about what others think…?”
THIS IS MY LIFE. I trust where God leads me, and I’ve learned that leaving, growing, changing, and being open to new opportunities are all part of the bigger picture in life. This path that God has laid out for me has been challenging and pretty much the exact opposite of what I may have originally planned… but gosh it is SO rewarding. To use something as an example, after a lot of obstacles, reasons for swollen eyes, and lesson after lesson, I was guided on a path that led me to my incredible husband. I could have put up fight after fight to make things go how I had first planned, but I let go and I ended up exactly where I belong by letting go and following the bright pink carpet that God rolled out for me. I will be sharing these life challenges and stories in a blog post to come… look out for it!
Think about your fears, what are they? Think about why you are so afraid, and think about how you can overcome them. What gives you inspiration to follow your dreams?This is YOUR time!! You may not think it’s the right time, but I’ve found that the time is never just right. I have faith in you. We all have faith in you. Do you?