Tag: challenge

Stop Dreaming, Start Living

Published on by Remy PhotosLeave a comment

I work hard…

I mean like really hard. I’ve always had a strong work ethic and I’ll always be that way. I forced myself to be this way a long time ago and now it just comes naturally… it’s a part of who I am. I give my all in everything that I do.

There are those people we all know: the ones who easily succeed in school without having to lift a finger or open a book… and then there are the people who have to try extra hard to make it through… that was me.

Elementary school- I literally couldn’t learn the times tables no matter how many times my teacher jammed it in my head. Middle school- I actually couldn’t comprehend a single thing I was learning. High school- tutors on tutors on tutors. Math, science, history… it was all a nightmare. That left me to English/Writing, Music, and Arts… those were the only subjects I felt confident in. Obviously, I succeeded more in the creative field- where I (happily) am today.

Back then I thought I was a failure, and that I would never get a good job because I felt so stupid. Really? Stupid? That wasn’t true by any means, but that’s how the school systems can make you feel when you aren’t learning at the same pace as the majority of students. I, of course, was blessed with the typical loving parents who always told me how smart I was and how amazing I was doing in school, but I knew, truly, that it wasn’t my strongpoint and I struggled with that.

I wasn’t stupid, and I’m not stupid, I just learn differently. There is nothing wrong with that. Knowing this, I had to work extra hard at everything I did. I was so hard on myself, especially when it came to tests. I would bawl when I came home with a bad grade– not because my parents were upset… they were proud of me because they knew I worked hard — it was because I gave it my all, and I still didn’t see my hard work pay off. Yet, the person beside me could miss class for a week and text through every lecture, and still receive a better grade than me.

Taking the SAT was a nightmare. I took them twice and my scores were terrible, both times. Sadly, I didn’t get to experience the excitement of being accepted into the college of my dreams, like all my friends did. I experienced something way different. I was embarrassed, distraught, and felt totally alone. I had to accept the fact that I had to stay at my childhood home during what was supposed to be my freshman year of college and attend a community college instead. It just wasn’t what I pictured. Most people think of community college as a lesser thing, so I did too. I was in a really dark place and on top of that, I was diagnosed with Still’s Disease after being in the hospital for a week. I was on medication that gave me bad reactions and I was going through a healing process with my body.

My friends were all leaving for college, while I was dealing with illness, depression, anger, and, truly, I didn’t even want to leave the house. As it turned out, staying home and going to community college was honestly the best possible experience for me and it was exactly where I needed to be. I learned so much about myself, about my work ethic, and ways to succeed through college. I was determined to succeed and would not stop until I got accepted into a four year university. After two years of working my butt off at the community college, I was denied by the school I had my heart set on, but I was accepted into two colleges- VCU and ECU. I took a chance and chose East Carolina to study Hospitality and Special Events… thank the Lord I did or else I would have never found my great friends and my amazing husband. It all happens for a reason, friends.

I have never worked harder in my life for the Bachelors Degree that I received from ECU in 2014. Even after transferring from a community college, I only graduated one semester behind. I have never been more proud of myself for getting through college. It is SO rewarding to finally receive a degree knowing all of the stress, tears, and struggles that I went through along the way. I somehow found a path through the biggest challenges, but I believe it had a lot to do with the thousands of prayers I sent to God. I proved to myself that I could succeed, and not just succeed, but do it better than I ever thought I could. ECU gave me the biggest blessings at just the right time in my life.

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Three years down the road, here I am owning my own business and succeeding more than I ever dreamed I could. I’ve been given the greatest opportunities thus far by working for some of the best people I know. I was given a gracious chance to prove myself and what I had to offer. I have been blessed with incredible experiences in many different areas. I have been inspired, encouraged and taught by amazing women in the creative industry.

This is where I belong. I can feel it and those who know me can see it. I get to use my best skills every day: organizing, planning, creating, coordinating, collaborating, sharing my heart, inspiring others, and working really really hard every day to improve and better myself. I wasn’t meant to remember and talk about history, or understand science, or work with numbers. The schools may not have planned for that, but looking at my life now, I couldn’t have it any other way. All I needed to do was put my best skills and my accelerated work ethic to use and now I truly feel that I can create anything I desire. A lot of people don’t have those skills, and that’s okay because they’re using their strengths to do big things.

I was meant for this field and I will succeed in it.

Here is some advice for anyone who feels they might be a little like me… This is your life, be who you are meant to be. It is your duty to prove your worth- work hard to get where you want to go. Nobody else will do it for you, only you can make it happen. There are so many opportunities out there for you. Some jobs might require a Masters Degree or some employers might look down on community college, but just know this… It only takes one person. It takes ONE person to see the real you, to believe in you, take a chance on you, and trust you. You might get denied a lot and leave you feeling worthless and harsh on yourself, but do NOT give up.

I’m telling you now, there is a place for you and it’s waiting for the right moment. It’s all in your hands. YOU can define your own success, YOU can decide what’s best for you, YOU are in control of your own life… nobody else is. So remember, hard work and dedication will take you anywhere you want to go in life. It’s not about being book smart, it’s about believing you can do anything and making it happen. If you’re trying, you’re improving. If you’re failing, you’re learning. If you’re changing, you’re growing. If you’re seeing all of this and continuing to work hard, you are succeeding. The money isn’t the reward in the end. The rewarding part is whatever is truly important to you. 

Keep dreaming and follow your heart.

First step? Write down your weekly and monthly goals. Stop dreaming it, and start living it. I want you to feel empowered and inspired, because I believe in YOU! If I didn’t have my little support community through school, I would have given up and I wouldn’t have the happiness that I have now. If you need that support, that kick in the butt or a cheerleader, you let me know. I’m here to help and I would LOVE to hear from you. It’s time to hear the encouragement you need to get you on the path you deserve for yourself. This is much more than a career, it’s your happiness and the fulfillment of your life. Discover yourself and be exactly who you are meant to be.

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”                                                                                 – Mother Teresa

 

 

 
XO Remy

Fear and Faith.

Published on by Remy Photos2 Comments

I read a blog post the other day and it got my thinking. Let’s stop thinking small, and start thinking big. Think outside of your Instagram, outside of your phone, outside of your house, outside of your city, and into the bigger picture. I’m a firm believer in serving others, sacrificing for others and putting your loved ones first. I think that’s an everyday motto, and it’s so important to remember. I also believe that in order to be selfless and giving, you should find your own happiness first. If doing good for others makes you feel unhappy and unappreciated, re-think the situation and think about the bigger picture. Are you unhappy with your lifestyle? Stop thinking you are chained down to your job, your location, your friendships or your relationship. MAKE A CHANGE… like now.

My mom always said, “the only person who can make yourself happy is YOU.” You have to be the one to make the change. Your friends aren’t going to change, your job isn’t going to change, and your life isn’t going to change unless you make it happen. Life is so much more than the tiny space your head lives in, and I too must remind myself of that.

This is what I read in the other blog, and I thought it was beautifully written.

“Leaving opens a new door for change, growth, opportunities and redemption. You always have the choice to leave until you find where you belong and what makes you happy. You’re even allowed to leave the old you behind and reinvent yourself.”  -Rania Naim

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You are ALLOWED to make a change for yourself, you are allowed to leave where you live or the job you’re in, and you are allowed to REINVENT YOURSELF. I love that. I can relate to all of that. You have every right to make the changes in your lifestyle to be happy, healthy, and feel refreshed. Nobody is holding you back, even if that’s what you’re thinking.

There are a lot of things you don’t know about me… and I think my juicy stories are meant for another day, so let’s talk about something that hugely relates to these issues– FEAR. What are you afraid of? Why aren’t you making the changes you need to make? Like I said before, think of the bigger picture. Get to the root of your fears. Think long and hard about what keeps you from making changes and how you can overcome those fears.

REMY’S FEARS.

Looking at the smaller picture:

  1. Being trapped in the shower with a mosquito. (that happened yesterday. I worked hard to kill it and it just never happened. I came out alive.)
  2. Sea creatures. Seriously, I am deathly afraid of anything that swims beneath me. That goes for tiny little fish too. I can’t do it.
  3. Public speaking. Oh my gosh, you guys. I pray that my little sister doesn’t have a big wedding so that I don’t have to make a speech in front of all those people (so selfish, I know). College presentations were NOT easy for me.

Now, let’s look at my bigger picture fears:

  1.  Failure. I’ve been hard on myself since elementary school memorizing the 50 states and getting tested on it. (I passed, thanks to a song my mom came up with.) Now, it’s bigger than that: I think about failing as a business owner. I think about failing as a mother one day. I could fail at a lot of things in life, and that freaks me out, because it can affect the people around me.
  2. Disappointment. I don’t like the feeling of disappointing others or myself. Even the smallest of disappointments give me the worst feeling deep down. That includes anything from making a less-than-savory dinner for my husband to letting a family member down, to making a friend upset, and so on. I also carry a weird amount of anger/frustration inside me when I am personally disappointed (like when I order food that I am super excited for, but it comes out totally wrong or burnt, hehe).
  3. Embarrassment. Literally, I get so embarrassed about the smallest things. That goes for misspelling words in my social media posts, to tripping in a parking lot, to talking about something personal that might seem dumb. 

 

WHY!? Ask yourself, why? Why am I so afraid of failure, disappointment, and embarrassment? I’d like to think it all goes along with my background, and my story. I learned to overcome a lot of these fears, just by going for it. I might still be afraid of these things, but I have pushed myself to get past it by making bold moves. By leaving, choosing happiness, choosing change, and re-inventing myself. I’ve made a lot of decisions in my life that put my happiness in front of my fears. I made the decision to grow and leave the rest behind. Do you know how hard that can be? Because I totally do!!!

If you’re going through this right now, and actively choosing your happiness before your fears, you should be SO proud of yourself!! If you want to make a change, but don’t know how, that’s okay too!! I have a little advice. Learn to just BE. Be alone with yourself, be alone with God if that’s your thing, be open, be accepting, meditate or pray on it, let go and be. If you fight against your ability to overcome your fears, then you aren’t making room for change. I have always lived by the mantra “whatever happens, is meant to happen… just go with flow.” When you find yourself at peace about an idea and feel that it’s exactly what is meant to happen, then let it happen!

I have always been queen of planning my own path. I’m a planner, I like to think ahead and plan for the future. God seems to disagree with me on that, though. He tends to guide me in the exact opposite direction of my plans most of the time. When I have a plan set in my mind, it seems to fall apart when the time comes, and that’s when disappointment sets in. After a few frustrating disappointments, I learned quickly that whatever God has planned for me is what is best for me and it’s all happening for a real reason. That can be scary, right? That’s when my fear of failure sets in. Because, basically, all I think is, “what am I doing, this wasn’t my plan!” Then I realize, this is God’s plan for me, so how could I be set up for failure? So I learn to roll with it, go for it, and put my all into it! That’s when embarrassment creeps its way in. I feel embarrassed when I’m confused or when others are confused about my decisions. That’s when I think, “why do I care so much about what others think…?”

THIS IS MY LIFE. I trust where God leads me, and I’ve learned that leaving, growing, changing, and being open to new opportunities are all part of the bigger picture in life. This path that God has laid out for me has been challenging and pretty much the exact opposite of what I may have originally planned… but gosh it is SO rewarding. To use something as an example, after a lot of obstacles, reasons for swollen eyes, and lesson after lesson, I was guided on a path that led me to my incredible husband. I could have put up fight after fight to make things go how I had first planned, but I let go and I ended up exactly where I belong by letting go and following the bright pink carpet that God rolled out for me. I will be sharing these life challenges and stories in a blog post to come… look out for it!

Think about your fears, what are they? Think about why you are so afraid, and think about how you can overcome them. What gives you inspiration to follow your dreams?This is YOUR time!! You may not think it’s the right time, but I’ve found that the time is never just right. I have faith in you. We all have faith in you. Do you? 

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XO Remy