Overcoming & Starting Over

February 1st is a big day for me. While I began walking through an unexpected phase of life prior to this exact date, today I specifically celebrate one year of overcoming being forced out of a situation I didn’t know I needed saving from. One year of trying to conquer my deepest valley and the darkest season of my life. One year of battle, fighting to gain my strength and joy back. One year of suffering through a very emotionally draining experience that sucked the life out of me and even my family. One year of heartbreak, grief, mental and physical exhaustion, and sadness. One year of big changes, scary transitions, too many gut wrenching tears, and learning how to be on my own again.

Never in my life do I want to feel the excruciating heartache and pain again that I felt one year ago today when my husband of almost 3 years, my best friend for almost 8 years… did not choose me, but instead chose a life and future that did not include me in it, and that was the last day I saw him. The details of what I went through months before this and even after this day will remain private-no need to share all the personal details…but I lost my entire world that day. It was flipped completely upside down. And those 48 hours I will never forget. I felt dead inside.

While I still don’t have the answers as to why things like this happen and never will, I do know that God is faithful and His plan for me is much greater than what I ever expected. Somehow, through every battle I fought through the hellhole that was the end of my marriage, through the separation, through the divorce, after the divorce, through the healing… I still had my faith, I still found hope, I still found joy, and I still believed in the kind of love that I know I deserve. I deserve the very powerful UNCONDITIONAL love that I know exists and I know I will get that at the right time. I still believe in the sanctity of marriage- no man will take that away from me. I still believe in my fruitful, fulfilling, bright future. I believe that the ingredients to finding joy after your spirit has been crushed is a lot of: prayer, surrounding yourself with loved ones, positive thinking, and seeing a therapist. I believe I went through all of the things I wouldn’t wish on anyone FOR A PURPOSE. If God wants to use ME for good, to help others through similar challenges or with healing, then I am blessed. I want to be His hands and His heart in any way possible and if pain is what gets me to the next level to really take action and do His work, then bring it on, Jesus! I am resilient AF and that has been a really incredible thing to learn about myself. While I am still healing, repairing my heart, rebuilding my little world of glitter and sunshine, and learning how to survive on my own solely through my faith with the support of my selfless amazing family- I have never been more confident in who I am, in my relationship with the Lord, or so sure of the amazing things I am built for and called to do.

Most of the year I felt ashamed and embarrassed of what happened. I was so happy for so long with this person and then all of a sudden everything changed and while I still had to come to terms with a shocking reality, I also knew people were going to question my situation, judge me for it, and talk about it… while also feeling completely defeated and trying to overcome rejection, abandonment, and betrayal from the one person I trusted most in this world. Then I realized WTF. These feelings all relate in some way and it’s all about feeling the need to have other people’s approval and acceptance. But reality is- this is MY life and nobody cares about MY life as much as I do and I don’t need anybody’s approval but His.

This experience has been humbling and enlightening in many ways. THIS is blooming. THIS is developing the wings. THIS is the climb. If you’re in the same boat as me or maybe just starting to feel that wave about to smack you in the face… you are not alone. But it’s up to YOU to steer the boat, to take that wave to the face like a champ, to fight and never give up. You were meant to be going through the pain, you were meant to experience whatever is happening in your life right now. And you will come out more powerful and joyful on the other side. God will never steer you wrong and will never stop holding your hand. It’s easy to question, “WHY THE HECK is this happening to ME!?”, but we may not understand until something better comes into our lives and makes everything in our past make so much sense. We might not ever understand, but just have to trust the path He has taken us down.

I want to let you in on a special, magical little moment that happened to me on this day last year, something I will always hold close to my heart and hopefully lift someone’s spirits. A God moment. A message clear as day. When I woke up on February 1, 2020, I was alone on the couch in silence and I already had a bad feeling about what the day was going to bring. I turned to my devotional, February 1st. And here was my message…

Need I say more? WOW. Right after that, everything happened, everything changed. My life took an abrupt turn, I was equipped for the strenuous climb, I have been preserved in all my ways, I feel His angels over, and now I know it for sure- “with my God, I can scale a wall.” SO much truth behind that.

Opening up about this life altering season feels freeing in a way. I have held back from being too personal and open with people and on social media since October 2019 when things started to become difficult in my marriage. Then all of a sudden I had to make him disappear, clear him out of my business and my life. It was like everything went from 0-100 and all of a sudden I was hiding a big piece of my heart because it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to share and I wasn’t ready for it. Now it’s on my heart to be more open, connect with those who can relate, support those who need it, and share my story in ways that allow you to really get to know me on a deeper level. Through sharing my story with select people over the past year, one thing I’ve learned is that I am definitely not the only person who has experienced something like this, who has experienced divorce at a young age. Our stories are all different, but we all have A LOT in common- we all got married expecting to be with that person for the rest of our lives and then it ended in disappointment and heartbreak. A lot of us never considered divorce an option, like EVER.  A lot of us feel like the most special and sacred moments of our lives were taken from us. Most of us are just praying we can heal from the trauma and find the really one true love of our lives. We are just human, trying to move on and remain optimistic for our future. We can ALL connect on many different levels, no matter HOW it happened. Friends, don’t be afraid to reach out, don’t be afraid to share your heart with me, because trust me- it’s not easy and writing this wasn’t easy either, but it IS therapeutic and good for the soul. I am here for you when you need someone.

Thank you for reading if you’ve gotten this far, thank you for being a part of my life and my business, and thank you for the support as I am still rebuilding WHILE rejoicing. Hugs to all ❤️

Xo, Remy

My Year of Taking Chances

Last year I told myself, “I’m going to make 2017 my year”. Now, let’s review what happened since last January…

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JANUARY- Eli and I moved off Hatteras Island and into a cute little duplex in Carrboro, NC to start our life together.

APRIL- I became an official business owner and really started to build my brand.

JUNE- Married to the love of my life!

JULY- Started offering weddings and launched my new website and brand.

AUGUST- Started offering One-on-one Mentoring.

OCTOBER- Started working as The Caroline Doll photographer!

NOVEMBER- Eli and I made the move to Richmond, VA!

DECEMBER- Eli and I are living happily in our first home together! 

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Wow… This really was my year. I pushed myself to take chances, to just go for it, whether it worked out or not! Through the wedding planning craziness, traveling all over the East Coast for sessions, mentoring and shooting weddings, leaving the country twice, moving twice, making big life decisions, working two jobs and other small jobs on the side, and trying to grow my photography business… it has been a challenging, yet very joyful year. To think that I did all of those things within a year makes me so humble and thankful! It seems like every year gets better and better with my husband by my side, supporting everything I do.  

I made several business goals last New Years and I accomplished every one of them. I did so much more than I could ever imagine and I sometimes can’t believe I did it all. When you really set your mind to the goals you want to accomplish, you WILL get there! You can’t be afraid of what people might think, or concerned you won’t be good at it, or just hold off until you feel more comfortable. Get out of your comfort zone, have a little faith, believe in yourself, make moves, and be your own cheerleader! TAKE CHANCES.

If you weren’t satisfied with what you accomplished in 2017, then 2018 will be your year!! Start your goal sheet now. Write them down, type them out, make sure they are right in your face every single day. Push yourself to make shit (pardon my french) happen!!!!

Let 2018 be your year of taking chances, new beginnings, big accomplishments, lots of success, and happiness! 

XO Remy

 

Surprise Proposal at ECU!

I’ve been waiting too long to share this special day on the blog! Morgan and I had this ECU graduation session planned for a long time. Just a few days before I was going to meet her, I got a (secret) phone call from Morgan’s soon-to-be sister-in-law, Jenna. She informed me that Morgan’s boyfriend, Alex, was planning to propose at the end of the graduation session!!! Naturally, I freaked out with excitement and couldn’t wait for the big moment! Jenna and I came up with a solid plan and we were ready for the mission! 🙂

When the session/engagement day arrived, I met up with Morgan just like any other graduation session would start. I was introduced to some family members and Alex, who “just wanted to come along” for the session. Little did she know, they were all there for the big surprise proposal… but, I will let the pictures tell the rest of the story.

This was easily one of the best moments I was asked to be a part of through my business. I mean seriously, I love having a role in major life celebrations, and this was a BIG one. There’s nothing like seeing love explode right in front of your eyes and seeing that moment being shared with the people who love them the most. It was incredible and yes, I literally cried. In front of everyone.

Thank you, Morgan and Alex, for allowing me to be a part of this time of graduating at ECU and getting engaged to the love of your life. This is the most exciting time of your life, and I hope you enjoy every moment of it! CONGRATULATIONS, wishing you all the love and blessings in your future!!

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Biase Party of 4

AUNT REMY HAS NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED! I’m going to have a niece soon!!!

I seriously can’t wait to spoil this little girl with every sparkly, pink, pretty thing I can find! 🙂 My sister-in-law, Christielee, is literally the most amazing mother and I am so thankful I can learn allllll the things from her before Eli and I start a family. My brother, Dyan, is such a fun-loving, sweet Dad. He works so hard to support his family and it’s incredible to watch. I admire these two more than they know and I love this family so much that I could cry thinking about it! I mean, just look at my nephew… he’s the cutest kid I’ve ever freakin’ seen!!! Wait until you see those photos at the end!!

The Biase family is growing and growing and I’m loving every minute of it. I can’t wait to meet this cutie baby girl in December! Taking photos for family members is one of my favorite things and I’m so happy they asked me to do this maternity shoot. This baby is going to be welcomed into the world with a beautiful, loving family and a big fat camera in her face! 🙂 Being an Aunt is such a blessing. <3 

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And my favorite Brax face……LOL

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XO Remy

Downtown Petersburg Couple’s Session

Remember when I did a fun giveaway for a couples session when I launched my new website!? These two newlyweds won, and it couldn’t have been more amazing!!!! After getting married in July, they both moved to Virginia, all the way from California! A romantic and joyful photo shoot in the new city was a perfect way to celebrate their big move! Adjusting to a new state and being far from family and friends can being SO stressful and really hard. I’m happy we could do this to give them a small break and take a little tour of Petersburg! We met up downtown and I was blown away at how adorable it was!! They made my job incredibly easy while loving on each other the entire session!

THANK YOU to the Kirchers for entering my giveaway and being a joy to work with! Xo

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XO Remy

Engagement Session in RVA

In honor of these two lovely people getting married this weekend (EEE YAY!!), I figured I would share their sweet engagement session from this past winter! Kayla was my random roommate during my first year at East Carolina University. Sure enough, after her soon-to-be hubby proposed a few years later, she reached out to book their engagement session with me!

I was seriously SO excited for this! Kayla and Randy are crazy fun, so in love, and they just radiate happiness!! This particular winter day was, of course, absolutely FREEZING.  I don’t know how she did it, but she was really a trooper wearing those dresses in that frigid weather! She looked stunning and these images are some of my favorites!! Cloudy skies turned into the most perfect golden hour. You’ll definitely want to stick around to see how this session ended on Libby Hill! Allll the heart eyes for that lighting and these two love birds! 🙂 

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XO Remy